sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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