How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
