No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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