Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
