This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
