I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
