You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Don't you send me to vm
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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