I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
