i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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