I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
