Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
