That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
