i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize