yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
