Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Randomize
