Duck Duck Cougar?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
