It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
