She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
