Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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