I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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