So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
