Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
