you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
