if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
