My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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