Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
