Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
