it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
