I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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