Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
