How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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