But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
