My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
