So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Farmville is her only friend.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Mom said you looked used
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
