the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
