am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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