The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
