just tell him i said nine months
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
