matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the day after is always just damage control
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
