she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize