I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
