I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm too high and old for this...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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