I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
