When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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