I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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