Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
