Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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