No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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