would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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