the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
