R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Drake has all the answers
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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