Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
