i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
